This year I’d say…

I have learned a few things here and there. A maturing brain that reads books, listens to others, and seeks experiences`has lead me to feel and think differently about this world we live in for awhile. Right now, I would like to share my failures of 2017. (I don’t believe in failures unless you do nothing about them, but I wanted to use a drastic word.)

1. Crazy Emotions

I get that this is a part of why I am studying dance.. to learn how to express and let out my extreme emotions in an articulated way that can be helpful for the audience…but sometimes that’s not enough. I feel whatever I am feeling very intensely and it is hard to see myself not feeling that certain emotion forever. This is like a downward spiral, because then I am not as generous of a person, and I tend to be less rational. I am guessing somebody out there can relate with me. So that being said, I hope to “fix” the root cause of this and not just cover it up with emotional band aids to suppress them and make it look like I am doing swell. Explaining what I will do seems more like a thing I write in my own journal, but in general, I hope to consciously work at this every day with God’s help. Healing is also a creative process, and I am looking forward to combining the two and turning them into one. What I do know for sure is that my life is filled with blessings, and God has been so gracious towards me.

2. Saving it for Later

No. I am now a year under 20, and I plan on quitting the excuses that come along with how many years old we are. Life has given me experiences no one else has had, and I have been given the responsibility to help others out with lessons learned.

3. Never Stopping

Unfortunately, it has been wired in my body and brain to never stop. I see breaks as waisted time, but I continually learn that this is far from the truth. For example, after this semester ended I gave myself permission to lounge around, read books, and do some casual yoga for about a week. My body showed me how much fatigue it was suppressing, because I never truly let it take a break. I woke up every morning with aches all over my body. It hurt to even open a door. Soooooo I think I was experiencing extreme exhaustion that was way over due. BUT, I learned that rest is real and necessary in order to keep going. (It seems so obvious now) Scheduling in restorative rest is not selfish. It is generous so that I can keep on moving and doing what I love to do every day.

4. (.          )

I am realizing now how good it feels to write on this blog thing. I don’t know why it is different than just typing into a Word document, but it feels great. I hope you all try it someday or do something that lets others in on how you’re feeling.

““`I just want to put in here that I am extremely grateful for everyone in my life no matter how much I see you. My emotions are strong, but they are also very happy at times because of people like you. Thank you for being you as cheesy as that sounds.“““““

IMG_1129Warmly,

Alivia

P.S. December 31, 2017

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s