I will no longer be saying “there is nothing wrong with..” for I see it as a lie. I can not think of one good thing that has nothing wrong with it.
My coffee right now: probably a coping method for emotions and also the “everything in moderation” saying is not even in existence with the amount of coffee I drink.
My new overalls I am wearing and really like: I don’t know who made them or the conditions they were in while making them. I also could have used the money to help someone else out.
And then there is this. I will never say “nothing good can come of this”.
My overwhelmingly active brain that can produce some pretty strong emotions I can’t really explain: Life would be boring if I knew exactly how to control these intense emotions. I would not have the desire to create them or express them. I wouldn’t have the desire to research the answers. I wouldn’t have the compassion and purpose to help others who are going through something somewhat similar.
The achey pain I randomly wake up to that doesn’t allow my body to move efficiently: I take these days to remember to be grateful for the days my body feels good and can go running. I pray for the people who deal with pain every day of their lives.
This concept I am thinking about seems pretty obvious, but I find it kind of funny how not so obvious it actually is. Life is not right. I am looking for what will make it right, but so far I don’t believe you can find it. But I do believe that “the search” is the best thing for the minds that won’t settle for being told there is no right answer.
Recently, I read the book “First We Make the Beast Beautiful” by Sarah Wilson. The biggest takeaway from her beautiful writing was that no one has the answer. No diet, new shirt, new boyfriend, self help book, food remedy, therapist, alcohol, mother, etc… will be able to to give you the complete answer you’re asking. BUT GO TO THEM ANYWAYS. What needs to be clear is why you are going to them and what you are aiming at.
“He who has a why can endure any how.” Nietzsche
“The external determines the internal as much as the internal invents the external” Andrew Solomon (from his book: The Noonday Demon)
This is what I am trying out as a method before I go to anything for help:
- Replace the drive to be happy with the drive to be whole.
- Pray and Meditate (I am crap at this but I still do it.)
- Awareness that the decision I make will never be perfect. Rather they become meaningful when I make them meaningful.
- Manage the fire inside my mind but don’t extinguish it.
- Stop just smiling and lying. Lean into the issue. Welcome the pain. Learn from it.
- Listen to the people who love you.
- Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.
- I have too many to count so I will finish with that last one.
Above any of those thoughts I just put out there, have faith in something. Practice love. Teach love. I do not care at all how sappy that sounds. If you laugh at the people who say such things related to love, I would encourage you to think about the motivation behind that laughter. Sure there are some people out there who approach this word with shallow initiatives, but if your heart is beating you are not a fake person. Let’s stop calling people fake and remember we are all alive and need each other to keep the heart, mind, and body as awake and true as possible.